Obviously, I am adopted. I do not know my biological mother. As a child, I had no interest in finding her, in fact, everyone around me was more intrigued than I was. I don’t know her, yet I still want to send happy mothers day wishes to my biological mother.
Why? Why not? For me, I do know giving me up was not something she wanted to do. She hung around for 4 days trying to scheme any possible way to keep me. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out the way she wanted.
I have never pined for my birth mother, strangely. I say strangely because my version of growing up was not pleasant. In fact, it was downright traumatizing. You would think that would drive me to want to know more, but it didn’t. I always and still do, think of my adoptive parents as my parents.
I’ve been curious and had questions but it has never been a focal point for me.
Who am I?
I wonder who I look like?
Could that be my mom?
What if someone I know, knows her?
Do we have similar traits?
Then I had my own children. One was born with challenges. Nothing super serious but enough that it nudged me to inquiring about my medical history. Then I wondered what traits do my children carry that may have been from my lineage.
2 of my kids look very similar and 1 looks like he doesn’t belong. My son asked about that one day when he was younger. I think he thought I messed around on his dad or something, you know, the postman’s child 🙂
I concluded he must be presenting something from my genes.
Sending happy mothers day wishes to my biological mother helps me to appreciate the agony she must have felt and maybe still feels.
Knowing she made this choice against her deepest desire to keep me, it must have weighed on her for years. I respect her for that. Having biological children myself, I can’t even imagine the emotions she would have gone through giving me up. And being a mom, you never forget having a baby.
I am grateful to be alive.
No, I would not go through what I went through again, for all the money in the world but I wouldn’t take it away either, for the same amount of money.
I would not have my children that I have today without my story. The experiences I’ve had, the people that have crossed my path, the life lessons I’ve learned, the growing I’ve done, and the help I provide. It all ties back to being adopted.
There is a deeper meaning to my suffering and I intend to make it matter.
Happy Mothers Day, biological mom.
And thank you.
If you are an adoptive parent and would like help navigating your child through tough times, or even better, learning before you have children, please contact me.